I like my coffee black.

Today I walked to Starbucks for a cup of coffee. When I worked in the city this was no big deal. Now I work in an industrial park, surrounded by pavement, parked cars and perfectly placed trees. I rarely walk to any destination outside of the office. So taking 25 minutes to walk to and from the nearest Starbucks is a rare occasion for me, unfortunately. But it boosts my energy, gets me out in the open air, gets me away from my hunched desk posture and most importantly helps my Nike Fuel points for the day.

I ordered my usual, a grande drip coffee, black. I used to splash it with milk but have removed dairy from my diet. Sometimes I miss the milk. It helps to cut the bitterness when I’m drinking bad coffee like Peet’s. But when the coffee’s good, like Blue Bottle or Stumptown or any Clover from Starbucks then milk isnt’ needed.

Starbucks drip coffee is somewhere right in the middle. It’s not awful. It’s serviceable. I’ll go out of my way to avoid Starbucks on the weekends but will happily drink it during the week. I always say I love everything about Starbucks except the coffee. I love the brand, the experience and always being shocked that the Classic Coffee Cake is 480 calories. Who knew?!

When you say ‘no room for milk’ those perky baristas love to fill the drink as close to the brim as possible. So for the walk back I grabbed one of those green little stoppers for the lid to avoid any spillage. When I got to my desk, I pulled out the stopper and to my amazement/disgust/shock it had melted. Not enough that it came off, but the plastic was definitely soft and malleable.

What. The. Fuck.

I do my best to never microwave anything in a plastic container. I only heat in containers which are glass or oven safe. Hell, I’m even skeptical of heating plastic which is labeled BPA free. You can imagine how this makes bottle washing a chore…and girl have I got the dish pan hands to prove it!

But I never thought about the little green stopper. Those sneaky fucks. No more melted plastic in my drink.

I like my coffee black.

Produce Muthafuckas!

Look at that box. I want to make mouth love to that box. This is what greeted me this morning when I woke up. One hefty box of organic, local and sustainable food. Yes please.

Allow me to get weird for a moment. I love Thursday mornings. Thursday morning’s are when we get our Farm Fresh to You delivery. It’s like a present once a week. No clue what’s going to be in the box or how the hell we’re going to cook it all before it goes bad. It’s like a game. But with food. My favorite kind of game.

Contents of this week’s box:

4 - Yakima Fuji Apples

4 - Riverside Valencia Orange

1 - Salinas Strawberries

2 – Avocados

1 - lemon

1 – bunch Holtville Assorted Lettuce

1 – bunch funky mushrooms

1 - bunch Carrots

1 - bunch Capay Bunched Arugula

3 stalks - Salinas Green Asparagus

I’ve gotten so good at making these boxes work that I can quickly tell you when, where and how each piece will be eaten. We eat so much produce in this household I’m willing to bet we’re back at the grocery store by Sunday to reload.

  

Let’s break it down:

Apples: Packed in my lunch for work, Mashed up in Bubba’s breakfast. To say we eat an apple a day is a gross understatement.

Oranges: Nighttime snack. Tastes like candy.

Strawberries: Cut up and put in the fridge for quick snacks. If I don’t prep snacks for my wife, she won’t eat. Weird, I know.

Avocados: This is a challenge. These are always tricky and don’t age as well or ripen as uniformly as the Haas variety you buy in the stores. Most likely I’ll need to bring these for lunch and try to incorporate them into something I’ve cooked. Or throw it on a Man Salad. Or wait for them to rot and throw them at the neighbors.

Lemon: The secret ingredient to make any smoothie taste like it's been supercharged. Not sure what that means. But squeeze a lemon in your smoothie and you'll thank me later.

Lettuce: Man Salads and/or for a morning smoothie.

Funky Mushrooms: Who the fuck knows?! What are those things? They look like a goose barnacle.

Carrots: Steamed for bubba. Or a perfect snack when I'm super hungry and wanting to devour the entire jar of peanut butter. I usually force myself to eat a carrot or 2 and my hunger subsides. Not my desire to take down of jar of peanut butter. That's with me always.

Arugula: Two bunches of lettuce and they are telling me one is Arugula and one is Lettuce. This makes no sense. Doesn't matter. These have Man Salad and/or smoothie written all over them.

Asparagus: 3 stalks?! Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck are we supposed to do with just 3 stalks? Steam 'em and enjoy the sweet aroma in our piss, that's what. 

Produce. Mutha fuckas!

No good!

Shit. Morgan texted back and said that Sweet Potatos count as carbs. As he puts it "but the good kind." Nevermind. We aren't in a place right now to mess around with "the good kind" of carbs. I got 15lbs to drop in 7 weeks. Sorry Sweet Potato goodness. No more for me.

Opah!

We're grocery store junkies. We seek them out like a baseball card collector seeks out the 1989 Upper Deck set. On a business trip I'll scout out local grocery stores in advance. Yeah, I'll nerd out on a good produce section and go to town on the prepared foods.

Our latest obession at home is Good Earth Natural Foods in Fairfax. This grocery store is firing on all cylinders. The produce section is not only extremely fresh but they actually have markdowns which is almost unheard of. Currently a 6oz pint of Organic Blueberries is going for $3.29. I dare you to find better. The prepared foods section is easily the best I've seen. Yeah, they have the fresh baked pizzas but they offer multiple gluten and wheat free versions. They have a made-to-order Thai food station which is loaded with flavor and can be completely Vegan.

And their salad bar is ballsy. No cheese. No meat. But tons of fresh organic veggies. A perfectly balanced raw Kale salad and about 8 different salad dressing options. And the best part? They print the ingredients for each dressing so you know what you're getting. Vegan Cesar Dressing...that's what's up.

I haven't even mentioned the fresh press juices. Yes, they're expensive (around $7.00 for 16oz) but very much worth it. I had the Beet, Kale, Apple and Orange juice which was labeled as the Body Cleanser. Mission accomplished.

We want to expose Bubba to as many new flavors as possible. So I always like to buy a new fish for her to try. Today's find was Opah. A delicious white fish from Hawaii. Here's how I prepared the Opah:

Opah
1-12oz filet
Lightly coat in olive oil
Sprinkle with Sea Salt and Pepper
Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
Yum.

I split the Opah into 2 servings. I ate the first one all by itself at work for lunch. The second one I combined with some asparagus I had cooked earlier and topped with fresh Pico de Gallo. Boom. If i can figure out how to make this damn picture work, I'll share what this great meal looks like.

Man Salad

The Man Salad.

My wife invented the term 'Man Salad'. No seriously, she did. It was summer of 2003. Sean Paul was telling us to 'Get Busy' and then a bunch of other jumbled words nobody could figure out. And Lindsay Lohan put together a critically acclaimed performance in Freaky Friday. Fantastic movie. Except when they insult the White Stripes. My wife and I were just starting to date. I was a good 35-40lbs heavier then I currently am and she saw an opportunity to help me eat healthier. We worked together and at lunch she'd ask if I wanted to join her for a salad. But instead of insulting my manhood, she deemed them a Man Salad, since they came stacked with fixin's. Then I nailed her.

Let's talk Man Salads. The easiest meal around. A staple of our household. A great way to get a ton of greens while still feeling like you’re eating a substantial meal. The more stuff in it the better. I’ll throw whatever is available, garbanzo beans, salsa, even cottage cheese in the mix. But what’s below is the tried and true formula. 

Man Salad

• Baby Spinach
• Feta cheese crumbled
• Grilled Chicken
• Almonds, roasted in a pan with a dash of olive oil. Let cool before putting in salad.
• Carrots
• Hard Boiled Egg
• Avocado
• Shallot, diced

Papa’s Balsamic Vinaigrette –

• 1 part Olive Oil
• 1 part Balsamic Vinegar
• Dash of minced onion
• Dash of garlic powder
• Dash of sea salt

Mix together and shake until it’s good to go.

No sugar. No carbs.

No sugar. No carbs. 

That’s the plan for the next 7 weeks. Well that’s the plan for weekdays, at least. On the weekends I’m going to eat healthy and try my best to avoid the all-you-can-eat Mexican lunch buffet at Cantina Margarita. (Yeah, I see you over-sized lycra sign, challenging me every time I drive past. And believe you me; I will maximize my ROI should I ever wander into your fine establishment.) Weekends are for letting your hair down. Or your gut out. At least I’ll bust my ass during the week so I can relax a little on the weekends.

We got the new issue of People today. One of the cover stories boasts about how much weight Christina Aguilera has lost and promises to reveal 'how she did it'. I'm a sucker for these stories. I immediately flip to the "article" to find out her secrets. Is she chewing on mint leaves? I'll do that. Is she doing an all juice cleanse with weekly enemas? Sure, if it works. Nope. All it says in this 3 paragraph "article" is that she's eating healthy and working out. And lifting some weights. Thanks People. Thanks for the tips. Dickheads.

But no sugar, no carbs. At least until Hawaii. That’s the goal.  I keep pushing the idea of a sexcation with my wife. Wish me luck. Dinner tonight was a man salad and sweet potato fries. (Please note the organic ketchup. None of that HFCS nonsense.)

Ah shit, are sweet potato fries considered a carb? I need to text Morgan and find out. Stay tuned.